May 31, 2006

The Strom Went Away, But I'm Still Scared


If only I feel depress due to gluttony. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
If only I feel depress due to gluttony.

Today was my final exam paper. It was the day I'll finally finish exams. Yet everything went wrong the second the sun rises.

My head hurts. Too much stuff to remember. My eyes burn. How can knowledge and information hurt me so bad? I'm out of mineral water. Tap water is bad for my throat. No time to use the kettle. There’s so much that need to be done. Yet there’s no time to do any of it.

Alas, it was time to enter the exam hall. How can things get worst? I waited for my friend to ride the car with me this time. Only to see her speeding off in her car. I thought she wanted to drop her car somewhere and then I'll have to pick her up. She just went to the exam hall. I went in circles 2 times at the round-a-bout, waiting for her answer on her location. Tell me earlier la -__-;;

Before the exams start, most of my friend said that somehow, today is a very messy day. Nothing works. I can't say it properly, but it feels so bad, I can't concentrate on my paper. I think I did rather poorly this time. Even after the paper finish, I'm still scared.

Though today went pretty bad, I guess I can look forward going home tomorrow. Now I just need to stop angsting and prepare my suitcase. I pray to God that even if my day went bad, please protect my exam paper from anymore torment. I'm a bit depress now because of today final exam. Either that or the Pepsi that I kept in the fridge went missing. There goes my holy grail. *sigh*.

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May 30, 2006

Goin Vegetarian. Not.

Waiting for porridge to cook. It's almost the end of the semester that even cafes are out of food stock. Rice and vegetables for lunch. French fries for dinner. Remembered my instant porridge in the cabinet. That’s my supper. Does milk count? Guess not. I am soo doomed today...

May 28, 2006

Reiki: The Big 5!

Agh, exams is just around the corner. Don't expect me to update much for a few days. In the meantime, I took some personality test. I like this kind of stuff coz its fun and maybe it'll help me learn a bit more about myself. Look at this;

Big Five Test Results
Extroversion (30%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and private.
Accommodation (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately kind natured, trusting, and helpful while still maintaining your own interests.
Orderliness (40%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Emotional Stability (50%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being calm and resilient and being anxious and reactive.
Inquisitiveness (42%) moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly small minded, traditional, and conventional at the expense of intellectual curiousity, possibility, and progress.
Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com


This is the Big Five Test. I took other test too, but they were too long. Let's do some research with the results;
  • Extroversion: Yes, I can be pretty quiet sometimes. First timer will think that I was snobbish. Friends then say that I can be quite loud sometimes. This is probably true, since I have a 'Peaceful' personality ^__^
  • Accommodation: Not sure about this one. I don't socialize much (I usually goes out of my room to buy food only), so there's no chance of helping others. But I do help if it's within my limit; say I don't have any plan at that time. I'm still nice person while still being selfish at times
  • Orderliness: Rather than saying fun seeking, I do not seek responsibility. True, I'm a scatter brain and laid back, but I don't compromise my work ethic. I don't have long-term accomplishment because I still haven't decided about my future yet.
  • Emotional Stability: Wooho, 50%. Is this lower than normal o_O? Oh what the heck, crazy and unstable folks are usually genius, lol. Calm isn't the right word. It should be indifference. Don't know, don't care.
  • Inquisitiveness: I guess I'm a bit traditional and unchanged. But I do progress. I like learning about computers, testing out new stuff that interest me. Although I do have fear of damaging my pc by bloating it with too much unnecessary stuff (my Firefox browser starts up slowly due to too many installed extensions =P).

Summary: So mostly the test result were true. I'm just your average Joe. Nothing compelling, strange or over-the-top. Pretty stable, self-centered and private. But still a nice person you know ^__^ . The only things that may increase my stats are exams grades. But then, not many people think it's important. Speaking of grades, I still have 2 more paper left. And this time, no gap. Darn

May 27, 2006

Sitting Alone. Reminisce.


Thinking

My roommate went back home yesterday. Her exams finish this week, while Reiki here still have 2 papers next week! Argh, it's so not fair! Why can't things go my way sometimes? It just had to go someone else's way. I had a few bad luck happening, and they keep on repeating itself. Let go back when I was 12 years old...

12 years-old: In Malaysia, we have this final exam called UPSR. My family takes education seriously, so much that I was forbidden from indulging myself in entertainment. One of them was playing game. During that time, I and my brother were crazy over Megaman X games. So I waited for the day I will be able to play it. When the day comes, I found out that the pc (we play the computer game) had broken down. And it's all because my brother went and inserted a virus-plagued CD-rom into it! Noooo!!!!

15 years-old: Also another exam, PMR this time. I played Chrono Trigger till the event before fighting Lavos. But of course, again, I had to wait patiently to play. Again, something happen. This time, my save game was corrupted. Both of it. Arggghhhh!!!! All my effort down the drain! I was feeling so down, I decided not to play any games for awhile.

17 years-old: The biggest exams in high school(unless you wish to take STPM), SPM comes. It was so important, that I was banned from touching the Playstation 2 5 months before the exams start (around the time we finally mange to buy a ps2). I was only allowed to try out Kingdom Hearts for 1 day =P Well, exams finish and I was excited about playing the ps2 and BAM! We can't play because my little brother destroyed the only controllers around. WHAAAATTTT?!?!?!?! So I had to chalk some money with my bro to buy a new one. That took about 1 week or so (because he keeps forgetting to buy it).

18 years-old: Well, university life started so no ps2. Just an old pc that can't even play Neverwinter Nights. After exams, my father came to take me back home. Things start to go downhill from there. The car broke down less than 5km from the university. OMG, my first car breakdown! Apparently, the engine overheated (some rubber tube had tear apart), taking the gasket with it. There was no way we can fix the gasket. And the water supply can't reach the engine because the rubber tube keep getting disconnected (too much air, too much pressure. And no, I'm not an engineer, so go ask some other mechanics for a better explanation =P).

So we loaded the car with mineral water, stopping now and then to refill the water (it wasn't circulating because the tube keeps coming off, thus water keeps dripping out). Not to mention dad was like, driving the car less than 20kph. It took us 12 solid hours to reach home. Usually it's just 3 hours! We got home around 5 a.m. I took a bath, ate some Nasi Lemak, and went to sleep for another solid 12 hours. Not even coming out to eat. I was just too exhausted. It was the same the next day too, only I slept 6 hours from the afternoon. Had to apologize for shouting to my little brother when he won't stop calling me for lunch.

This what happen to the car. Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

19 years-old: I still haven't played Kingdom Hearts II yet, demmit! Oh God, such trials I’m being put through. I wonder if it's because my mom wish me to stop playing games? *sigh*

May 26, 2006

Are Humans Really Human?

I've just finish another paper today; 3 down, two more to go. Now, in my previous post, I mention about watching CSI: New York. It's somehow related to my friend's post, He Who Has No Heart. I won't mention much about it, but you should read it. Remember to read and share your opinion.

If you're a fan of CSI, you know the drill; mostly murder, and sometimes, the person who commit it is none other than the victim's close relatives. I'm mostly interested in the motive of the crime. Why did s/he do it? Let’s take s simple and short example from CSI: NY, season 2 episode 4.

Short summary; A man named Greg Thompson killed his own co-worker, Jerik Stamp (?) because of money and power. Before you say, "This is just a TV show," tell me, just how often do you see this happen in real life? Not to mention other situation with different motives.

Another summary (different episode): An old grandma lied to her brother to make him murder her husband (brother-in-law). (Crappy summary I know, but I don't remember)

Yes, CSI is a TV show, but what I find interesting is that how it almost replicate real life thoroughly. Humans get hurt easily. When the pain accumulates to a certain heights, they explode. The result varies, but often devastating. Sometimes, it's not about the pain, but desire, lust and envy.

I'm the one that should be promoted.
My son deserves to be chosen, not his.
I have no other choice; I'll lose his pension if I choose divorce.

They all come out with different reasons for committing such crime. Is this what being a human truly means? That we keep on hurting each other? Is this some kind of 'flaws' written in our genetic code or something? Does having flaw shows that we're human? Then, does that mean we hurt each other because we're just humans?

I'm feeling confused and sad at the same time. Flip through the newspaper, and you'll see news of a person's misdeeds taking center stage. I'm sure there are other smaller but still heart wrenching tale left untouched. But then, it just keeps repeating itself. Again the same news of a minor girl raped by her own close relatives. Again we hear innocents murdered by someone they are close with. Again humans continue to astonish me. But does it ever change? For the worst mostly. For the better? Rarely.

Histories are there for humans to learn and reflect back. To avoid from repeating the same mistake. Yet some of us never learn. As long as we have our way, why should we care? After all, we're just humans. We're not perfect. We make mistakes now and then.

I won't discuss more, since I'm so confused, not to mention a little bit disturb. I end my post with one of my favorite quote from CSI, which goes like this;

You might hate your life, but she loves her, and you took that away from her.

May 24, 2006

Uh-oh, I Forgot!

I totally had forgotten about my exams on Thursday. So I'll have to postpone posting (oh heck, I don't know what to post anyway XP).

I was determine to finish my Computer Organization revision by yesterday. Then I remember I didn't finish watching CSI:New York. It's just one episode. The voice said in my head. So, I went and watch 1 episode. Then I got hooked. How could that old granny do that? I wanted more. So, I went and watch 3 more episodes.

Sucks to be a nobody.
Whoah, that’s too much.
Eeek! Where did THAT come from?!

So it went on and on till 1 in the morning, cause I keep repeating the show. Oh Dear Lord, I only read 3 chapters, and there’s 17 more to go. Instead of dumping myself into a pool of regret, I decided to do some laundry. It'll sucks more if I don't have proper cloths on Thursday.

Then the day drags on till today, now. I just realize I'm missing a few notes. Dear God, I wish time will slow down so I can have enough time to finish my revision. I can hear a voice, saying, "You receive a 5 day gap; what did you do to it?” Why, I didn't do anything to it at all. 5 day just went by; just like that. Of course time went fast when you’re sleeping.

Oh, what am I doing? I'm getting sidetracked by writing this now! Be a good child, Reiki, and don't disappoint your mother. You'll be able to play Kingdom Hearts II when you go back! That’s right, reward always have good effects on me. So I'm gonna write it down on sticky notes and paste it on my monitor. That should do the trick. Wish me luck for my exams! I'm wishing for everyone else too! XDXD Reiki here, signing off!

May 22, 2006

Today, I Failed to Keep My Word

While taking a shower, I found out just how wide I had become. I'm becoming more and more unhealthy, not taking care about my health. I gave it some though and decided that I should lose some weight. So the 1st strategy was to eat less, coupled with less meat intake. Yes, that's what I'm going to do. Go on a diet to lose some weight.

Fish&Chips Image Hosted by ImageShack.usUnfortunately, I don't think my plan work. I mean, not only did I not stay away from eating meat; I didn't eat any less at all. Just what did I do? Well, I usually don't eat breakfast because I wake up late everyday. So lunch, I had "Fish and Chips", prices at RM 5.50(approx. 1.50US$). Mind you, in the whole college, this cafe sells the nearest authentic Fish and Chips. So I didn't mind to splurge. Sides, I love Fish and Chips X9 And it's a fish, so it’s better than meat (I think).

Next is dinner. I went to the library, not to study, but to borrow books unrelated to my course exams, like fantasy novel. Too much exams gap makes me lazy. On the way I stop by another cafe. I heard that this cafe's "Chicken Chop" was one of the best in the area. So, I decided to try it. This cafe is quite popular, making my order sitting in the 8th queue at that time. The different is that the chicken's skin is crispy, like those KFC Original Fried Chicken. Putting the mushroom sauce and into my mouth, I was delighted! This is one of the best chicken chop (in the college area anyway) yet!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usSo whats after dinner? Supper of course! And it's not 11p.m. yet! My friend rang me, saying she's going to McDonald. Any order? Of course! 1 Double Cheeseburger please! Since the nearest McD is 1hour drive, I usually don't eat fast food outside. So it was just logic that I ordered something ^_^. She gave me the food, and I munch it in less than 15minutes (that’s pretty normal). Yummy, that was the best meal day I ever had (in college)!

So yeah, I broke my oath on the same exact day. I have a habit of giving up or forgetting easily. Too easy. Now not only have I gained more weight, I have successfully make my wallet lighter. But you know, the food was delicious! XD ... Well okay, I'll try again tomorrow. If I can keep my diet, I might be able to succeed in other thing, like studying >_< I have paper on Thursday and I haven't even flip my notes yet. God, please help me...

May 21, 2006

n00bie or \/\/anab3 blogger??

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Decided to put some effort into blogging(read: Sunday, no exams till Thursday). For starters, I decided to see what the pros at Performancing.com have to offer to newbie like me. I read through some of the post, especially the content category. I realize that I don't have interesting stuff to blog about, something that I need to change. I continue reading on, trying to see what I can score. Alas, I realize that my blog is doomed to fail. Forevor. Unless I do something about it...

So let's talk about wirtting content for a blog. I went through some of Chris Garret post/article, one which is HOWTO: Launch a New Blog The Easy Way. From his post, here's what I came up with:
  • Planning - Blogging alone, standalone(myself included). I didn't plan anything in the first place. I choose Blogger.com because it's quite well known, so I just jumped into the fray(due to boredom).
  • Design - I like blue ^^ and the blue Blogger NavBar(top of page) looks good together with Blogger.com template. I think the 2 column layout works just fine.
  • Content - Okay, this is hard. I doubt that I can do any killer post. I'll just say it out loud; I 5uck at writting! I still haven't though about the main purpose of this blog. Like I said in my previous post, my life is l4/\/\E. Maybe given time, it'll mature? Or I'll just leave it in the graveyard...
  • Link - Well here's a good start. I put a few relevant link in my blog, even linking to my own content ^^ Now, the only problem is trying to stay on topic. Now I may have some motivation to strive for success! Kekeke...
  • Promotion - Theres nothing worthy of promotion here. And I only told 2 people about this(blog) =P And they haven't given any feedback >_< I'm pretty shy and like to stalk around forums, so my blog ain't goin on stage for the time being.
  • Publish - Oh wow, if only I don't 5uck5 in writing, I'll be able to earn some money! The most writing I've done is role-playing in Yahoo! Group. And that have been dead for a few years now.
  • Advertise -This is an interesting idea, but I'll stick with advertising my interest first, like Firefox. Like Chris says, once you have income ^_^ .
So there you have it. Looks like theres alot of work to be done, much which I doubt I'll be able to do it =P I'm not a good writer like Sam is, but I'll try my best. For now, lets just kick back see what'll happen, eh?

May 20, 2006

Back to Basic

Okay, just what am I supposed to blog about? Maybe I should start by making a list. Here goes:-
  • My life - I spent more than 20 hours in my room. If I'm not playing games or surfing the net, I'm sleeping. Maybe I can blog about general stuff?
  • Anime - Well, I'm not a good reviewer, and staying in hostel means I'm pretty much left behind from the anime scene. SAD~~
  • Games - Nowadays I don't play much game, coz my pc can't handle most of the current game, nor do I own a console T__T
  • Other techie stuff - Again, my knowledge is pretty limited, and I don't own anything revolutionary either. And if I do brag about it, most people probably won't understand what I'm crapping about >_<;;
  • General stuff(current news etc) - Hmmm, I rarely watch TVs, read the newspaper or even visit news site. So thats out. -__-;;
Hmm, I don;t have much choices do I? I'm sure there are many other much more interesting blog than this. Maybe I should out a warning sign that say "|4/\/\3 alert!" ^^

Just posting this up to test out Performancing, another Firefox extension. Man, I'm addicted to extensions!

May 19, 2006

The Exams Before (7 week)Freedom

Yea, I registered to blogger! Now there's another junk polluting the internet trash =P

Anyway, a bit late here. Anyway today was 2nd paper for the final examination. System analysis & design(better known as "SAD" T^T ) was the name. I had a fever the day before. Mum and dad called and keep saying "Study for exams! Fenin(headache)? Eat panadol! No, no, you won't fell asleep. At least get some light reading. It's okay if you don't sleep at all. Just make sure you score.".

Getting A's are important to my parents. Not that it's bad, but I'm a bit anoyed of the constant reminding and nagging. Gosh, it just show they (probably)love me ^^;;

Ah well, for some reason my exam timetable sucks big time this year. While some complain that they don't have gap between paper, I'm complaining for having just too much... Next week I only have 1 paper o_O Also the reason I started blogging and doing other crappy stuff is because I'm having a 5-day gap now. Looking for a way to fill my time, currently lurking around the Firefox extension website. Man, I'm in love with Firefox all over again <3

p.s. Yes, this is my crappy 1st post. If you read my profile, maybe you'll know just how lazy and crappy I am.